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Category Archives: Psychos/Madness
Poison Ivy III: The New Seduction (1997)
Poison Ivy III: The New Seduction (1997)
Review by: Erin Page
WHAT IT’S ABOUT: A sinister seductress vows to destroy a suburban family.
REVIEW: The third installment in the Poison Ivy film franchise is only tied to the canon by the most tenuous of plot threads. As the opening credits roll, the movie scrambles in vain to connect those meandering dots, bombarding the audience with needlessly complicated information. We zoom in on a palatial hillside estate in sunny Los Angeles, where a jean-clad, sneering pool boy is busy ignoring his work to make sex-eyes with a woman inside. She shoos a series of children upstairs to play so she and the pool boy can fuck loudly in the kitchen. The girls seem cheerfully oblivious to the wall-pounding, screaming orgasms below, and have a tea party with a selection of creepy porcelain dolls. One of the girls (named Ivy), scoffs at playtime and skulks to the window, looking out onto the driveway where she witnesses a car pulling up. “There’s going to be fireworks,” the child actress intones badly, and we watch the six-year-old make a bizarre attempt at an evil grimace.
The Chlorine Cassanova strikes again!
Poison Ivy II: Lily (1996)
Poison Ivy II: Lily (1996)
Review by: Erin Page
WHAT IT’S ABOUT: Lily, a sheltered art student, unleashes her wild side after discovering an erotic journal.
REVIEW: As far as the IDEA of this movie goes, you can almost get behind it. It was the mid-’90s! Sex sold and was still a little shocking! Generation X was up its own ass in love with itself, and Alyssa Milano was taking her clothes off all the time. A sequel to the hot and scandalous story of an underage seductress in combat boots seemed like a damned fine idea.
But then they went and fucked it all up.
Poison Ivy (1992)
Poison Ivy (1992)
Review by: Erin Page
WHAT IT’S ABOUT: A seductive teen befriends an introverted high school student and schemes her way into the lives of her wealthy family.
REVIEW: I had caught part of this movie on ye olde Cinemax back in the early ’90s when it was on heavy cable rotation, and I was THOROUGHLY SCANDALIZED! While I had forgotten most of the entire plot, no amount of retroactive mind-bleach could scrub certain scenes away completely. Let it be said that there are just some things an impressionable 13 year old girl should never have to see. Sitting down to view Poison Ivy again with renewed purpose, I didn’t know what to expect from it — save that at some point, haggard-ass Tom Skerritt was going to fuck Drew Barrymore on a piano, and it was going to be WEIRD.
Sylvie (Sara Gilbert) smokes and sketches in her notepad while covertly watching a beautiful blonde on a rope swing. As she glides through the air in graceful slow-motion, oblivious to being watched, Sylvie remarks to herself that the girl looks like a slut. And she does! But admiring the girl’s perfectly painted red lips, she gets flustered. “Not that I’m a lesbian… well, maybe I am.”
It’s okay, Darlene. We’d ALL go gay for Drew Barrymore.